Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Every Hair on My Head

I didn't really have "long hair" as a little girl.  I don't think it really reached past my mid back until I hit my teens...

I was always filled with such longing and yes, even jealousy, when seeing all the long Rapunzel-like hair at youth camps.

As a little girl I would ask my mom, "Will I have long hair when I grow up?"

"Do you want long hair?" Mom would ask.

Eyes wide I would say "Yes! Of course I do!"

So she would tell me to just ask Jesus for it.

And I did. Over and again and again...

Of course, all the kids at school thought I had the longest ever.
Except for Jessica Maddison...before she cut it.
Her hair was so long 
she had to wrap it around her arm 
JUST to use the bathroom.

When you're in third grade, that's pretty much a real live Barbie. 

-insert wistful sigh here-


I always desired long hair.  And it was difficult to understand why mine just didn't grow.  My mom had super long hair in her teens...but it broke off after her pregnancies.  If genes had anything to do with it, mine should have been a lot longer...

So I kept praying about it and after some major stress in my late teens and a perm I insisted on when I was 18 ...my hair had finally reached a "breaking point"

...it looked bad.

I mean...really...really bad.

So at a youth service I went up for prayer
and told the visiting minister I wanted my hair to grow.

And what he said and how he looked at me..
it just hurt my feelings.

He looked at me and said..
"You know long hair is uncut hair, right?"

At the time I thought he was assuming I cut my hair, 
which made me feel such complete despondency.

But now I look back and wonder if he was trying to be nice
and tell me that even if my hair never grew another inch
as long as I didn't cut it, it would be long in the eyes of God.

Which...wasn't really what I was looking for.

I wanted it to be long in MY eyes.
not to mention everyone else's...

Luckily, I married a guy who thought I had great hair.

(he's bald)


I really didn't realize how much my hair affected me.
I didn't have a lot of self-confidence.
I was jealous of others.
I wanted long hair because I thought it was beautiful...
and that having it would somehow make ME beautiful.

I'm happy to say God finally got a hold of me
and changed my desires...

I stopped worrying about the length of my hair.

I stopped thinking about trimming the dead ends off.
I stopped obsessing over miracle shampoos and vitamins.

I started thanking God for my hair.
every time I brushed it.
every time I felt it on my arm.
Thank you Lord.


A year after I got married, Bro. Jewel Forney came to preach for us.  It was a very strong message and I felt a pull to go up for prayer.  I felt a need to claim this small desire for myself.  I wanted my hair to grow and I wanted it as a testament to God and His Word.  No matter what the world said about split ends and trimming, I knew my God numbered every hair on my head.

"Bro. Jewel...I want my hair to grow." Even before the words left my mouth I was cringing inside.

He looked at me with those big white eyes.
With a joyful laugh he said, "Well, how long you want it?"

I stuttered,  "E-excuse me?"
"I say, how long you want it?"

I started crying...and I slapped my thighs and said
"Right here, I want it here Brother Jewel."

And then he prayed and asked the Lord to let it grow for His glory.


Later I recounted with another sister how Brother Branham had asked that little girl what color eyes she wanted.  She asked for blue and blue they were.

I can tell you I am holding on to that and believing it will all my heart.


Anonymous said...

What a wonderful testimony Jeni:) I have always felt the same way my hair was long when I was little but when I was 14 I lost 50lbs and most of my hair.. I struggled with wanting to trim the "dead ends" off too. After I got married I really started praying that the Lord would let it start growing (it hadn't grown 1 inch in over 3 yrs) around that time I got pregnant with eli and that was a miracle for my hair. After I had eli my hair was about 4 inches longer and stated that way until I had Ireland and it grew another 4/5 inches.. long story short if I want my hair to grow all I have to do is have a baby...:)
~Amie Cathey~

Unknown said...

Wonderful testimony, Jeni! Really speaks to my heart about my own hair issues. Thanks for sharing and your hair is beautiful! Love ya!


Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. If you hadn't said I never would have known you struggle with it! It always looks great in any photo I've seen :) LB

Anonymous said...

That was a wonderful testimony...it just goes to say you honestly never really do know what people struggle with, I would have never thought of you having this struggle Jeni...not in a million years! It also goes to say, whatever you ask be specific! Thank you for the post and yes you are pretty amazing! Kristi

Susan said...

Hi Jeni! Wonderful testimony as I too struggle with my hair. I'm at a point of really hating it right now. I think I'm dealing with some hormonal issues that are making it unruly, to say the least.

Wondered if you were still no poo-ing with baking soda. A friend just posted her results of using baking soda (a lot of breakage)...see links:



Lord bless,
Susan (Ankeny) Smith

Jeni said...

Susan, I actually just read the blog post yesterday! I still do the no-poo but I also go twice as long between washings and use a clarifying shampoo every few weeks as well as coconut oil every time I rinse. This helps keep the scalp well oiled as well as the ends from breaking. I haven't experienced the sort of texture she was talking about...if anything, my hair has become really silky and smooth. My ends are really strong...I tug on them every now and then to check the elasticity. I wouldn't say that baking soda was her main problem and wonder if perhaps she had some inside issues that effected it. They say how your body is on the inside will show up on the outside in your nails, hair, and skin. So...I gleaned some warnings from her post but still feel pretty confident in my routine. . )

Susan said...

Awesome! Just wanted to make sure you were aware :)

Kristen @ Smithspirations said...

Hi Jeni! I really enjoyed reading this testimony. Susan just shared your blog with me. :)

Susan also shared my blog posts above, but I just wanted to leave a note that for me, the breakage was absolutely related to baking soda (you can read the details if you want in the FAQ post). It's very common to have that happen after years of use, though I honestly would have had a hard time believing that when it was working so well for me for so long! I had to learn the hard way.

Anyhow, I just wanted to mention that here because I didn't want you to be mislead that it happened to me because of other reasons, like deficiencies or hormonal imbalances. And most of all, I don't want to see anyone deal with the breakage issues I've had! I'm glad to read that you considered my experience & cautions. :)

Best wishes!

Jeni said...

I'm having trouble posting comments via mobile but I did look at your recent post Kristen! You make some very wonderful points and I can't toss them aside. I will definitely be considering an alternative

Anonymous said...

Hi Jeni
You already know I love your posts :)
You already know I love your hair. :)
You already know how I've enjoyed watching faith made sight :)

I just thought I'd be open about my stalking......
For today....heh-heh l

Thanks for the extra hug Sunday

Sweet4Jay said...
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