Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Every Hair on My Head

I didn't really have "long hair" as a little girl.  I don't think it really reached past my mid back until I hit my teens...

I was always filled with such longing and yes, even jealousy, when seeing all the long Rapunzel-like hair at youth camps.

As a little girl I would ask my mom, "Will I have long hair when I grow up?"

"Do you want long hair?" Mom would ask.

Eyes wide I would say "Yes! Of course I do!"

So she would tell me to just ask Jesus for it.

And I did. Over and again and again...

Of course, all the kids at school thought I had the longest ever.
Except for Jessica Maddison...before she cut it.
Her hair was so long 
she had to wrap it around her arm 
JUST to use the bathroom.

When you're in third grade, that's pretty much a real live Barbie. 

-insert wistful sigh here-


I always desired long hair.  And it was difficult to understand why mine just didn't grow.  My mom had super long hair in her teens...but it broke off after her pregnancies.  If genes had anything to do with it, mine should have been a lot longer...

So I kept praying about it and after some major stress in my late teens and a perm I insisted on when I was 18 ...my hair had finally reached a "breaking point"

...it looked bad.

I mean...really...really bad.

So at a youth service I went up for prayer
and told the visiting minister I wanted my hair to grow.

And what he said and how he looked at me..
it just hurt my feelings.

He looked at me and said..
"You know long hair is uncut hair, right?"

At the time I thought he was assuming I cut my hair, 
which made me feel such complete despondency.

But now I look back and wonder if he was trying to be nice
and tell me that even if my hair never grew another inch
as long as I didn't cut it, it would be long in the eyes of God.

Which...wasn't really what I was looking for.

I wanted it to be long in MY eyes.
not to mention everyone else's...

Luckily, I married a guy who thought I had great hair.

(he's bald)


I really didn't realize how much my hair affected me.
I didn't have a lot of self-confidence.
I was jealous of others.
I wanted long hair because I thought it was beautiful...
and that having it would somehow make ME beautiful.

I'm happy to say God finally got a hold of me
and changed my desires...

I stopped worrying about the length of my hair.

I stopped thinking about trimming the dead ends off.
I stopped obsessing over miracle shampoos and vitamins.

I started thanking God for my hair.
every time I brushed it.
every time I felt it on my arm.
Thank you Lord.


A year after I got married, Bro. Jewel Forney came to preach for us.  It was a very strong message and I felt a pull to go up for prayer.  I felt a need to claim this small desire for myself.  I wanted my hair to grow and I wanted it as a testament to God and His Word.  No matter what the world said about split ends and trimming, I knew my God numbered every hair on my head.

"Bro. Jewel...I want my hair to grow." Even before the words left my mouth I was cringing inside.

He looked at me with those big white eyes.
With a joyful laugh he said, "Well, how long you want it?"

I stuttered,  "E-excuse me?"
"I say, how long you want it?"

I started crying...and I slapped my thighs and said
"Right here, I want it here Brother Jewel."

And then he prayed and asked the Lord to let it grow for His glory.


Later I recounted with another sister how Brother Branham had asked that little girl what color eyes she wanted.  She asked for blue and blue they were.

I can tell you I am holding on to that and believing it will all my heart.